Most singles are afraid of telling a potential love interest that they have children when they finally meet that person. No one wants to lie about this. It can be the biggest Catch 22 just when you are getting to know a potential love partner.
A great example is when you first meet someone and they have a child… you lie and say you have no children that day and the person WON’T date you ever again.
Eventually though, you will have to tell the truth. Whether your date is a great person or a bitter enemy it will eventually come out and you Will have to either decide to be true and yourself, or lie and say you don’t have kids when you do. My opinion is that you should just be honest and say that you have children… and let the relationship develop out the way it will.
I say that because society is still coming around to practicing single parenthood. In many cases it is still against the law to be single with children. A single mother or father in the District of Columbia, for example, can be stemed out of going out to date by the employer and even the Courts. You have to ask yourself, what is the benefit of dating someone and carrying a child in your pants?
It’s not being child slave, child molester or an incapable parent. Dating a person and having children together is not always a good idea. I don’t want to give the impression that having a child makes you a parent. Single parenthood is not always a good situation either. Some people have no problem dating women or men with children but these people also tend to have a very hard time relating to other people because they see themselves as failing in some way as a companion.
I have known single moms who in addition to being single, are without family. Several have husbands and fathers who are not part of their family. For many of these women, dating and socializing are full time endeavors. Their lives are dedicated to providing for their family and they have not yet learned the value of being a single parent. Being single they have not yet learned how to give priority to other people, to consider the needs of other people in general and so on.
Single parenthood can take a toll on a woman and person. The most important thing is to always remember to give consideration to the person you are dating. Whether you are a single mother or not, never forget that your dating situation matters. This is especially true when you are getting involved romantically with a person who has a child.
Dating a person with a child also has its benefits. They typically want to provide for that child and they tend to want to court their partner. The former provides a much more stable environment for the child and you as a couple benefit of a stable upbringing. The latter provides a much more vibrant environment for a child and any issues that may arise regarding the child are not always as painful because the child has an enjoyable,confident partner to spend time with.
I might add then that it is a wonderful thing to find love and friendship filled with the love of a mother and father. Never forget that they are not just your date or lover, but they are the persons who produced the love that will pull you through life.
