Do you know the signs of an addictive person? Do you suspect that your new love is also an addict? An addict is someone who behaves in ways that can become emotionally or physically draining. An addictive person may do or say things that don’t sound loving or honest. They may say or do things that sound normal and average, but are actually a way of getting his or her way.
Here are some sure signs that you are in the presence of an addictive person:
1. communicating too much, trying to keep secrets, can’t give you any personal time without checking with him or her every few minutes. He or she has a constant need for your attention. If your child calls you, here is the way it is almost always described : he or she almost never calls you.
2. He or she has a great need to interact with you and anyone else who comes in contact with him or her. The person is outgoing and energetic. He or she will talk endlessly about things that are uninteresting to you but are interesting to him or her.
3. If he or she says he or she hate you or doesn’t love you in the first six months, and then starts saying “I love you” mid-way through, don’t believe it. If he or she says this after six months, it’s a sure sign that he or she is a recovering addict.
4. Confuses or hides his or her whereabouts from you. If he or she tells you he is out of town when he is really saying he is at home.
5. He or she suddenly has a very different personality. If his or her mood is very somber, all the sudden he is out of town, and his or her life seems depressed, even dangerous. Someone who is normally happy to be in your presence now has a constant pager on his or her ear that he or she can’t remove.
6. He or she stalks you. You know that you didn’t actually do anything wrong. But instead of feeling comfortable, you feel as if you are in danger.
Dating an addict is not something to play into. If you find yourself intrigued with the possibility that you are dating a recovered addict, you are only wishful thinking. The fact is that recovered addictions run their own life. If they weren’t in recovery, they wouldn’t have a need to hide the fact. They would live with it, would understand its mechanics, and could break it free.But you can’t do anything about their recovery. You can help them get past it, but that’s about it.
You are only hopeful.
That much you may remember from your childhood conversations about ghosts. Although no one really wants to spend her life fretting over Were- ghosts, we often worry when the ateliners we care about return from the spectacles looking strange, and seeming to look through us, into the void.
And so thespectaclescome back on, and you say to yourself, “That face is not scary, and I still love him or her, but maybe this one is just broken.”
Of course, it isn’t.No matter how broken they are, that’s part of what makes them attractive in the first place. For politicians, it’s mostly their erogenous power in office. For lovers, well, they sort of feel, oh I am just going through a moment of ecstasy thinking about her, and at the same time finding comfort knowing that she loves me.
But for an addict, it’s an endless cycle of recovery.
recover — recovery from an ordeal of loss and recovery to pay the bills
Recover — recovery from an ordeal of loss and recovery to get their footing
Recover — recovery from an ordeal of loss and recovery to sort out their inner journey
Recover — recovery from an ordeal of loss and recovery to put the cigarette down and start living again
Recover — recovery from an hassle of loss and a hassle of recovery
Recover — recovery from an hassle of loss
Recover — recovery from an hassle of loss
Recover — recovery from an hassle of loss
In addition to all of this, addictions have to have physical and emotional aspects as well. And the recovery process doesn’t end with a puff from a cigarette but instead, as Wheaton says, the “pain of recovery associated with a recovery action is also painful.”
So here we are not talking about an addictive brain circled by remorse and guilt and who has made a decision that she will not.
